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Little Bastard In My Head

from Ardente Pazienza by Sigal Chameides

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about

We all have it, right there in a small, dark corner of our brain: The Bastard.
The Mean One.
The one that tells us we are not good enough. We aren't doing enough, making enough money, enough effort, that our achievements aren't enough, that our goals are unrealistic dreams, that we aren't enough smart, or strong, or beautiful, or interesting. That we don't belong. That we'll never make it.
It pops out when we start doubting ourselves, when we had a hard day at work, when we had a fight with our partner, when we are scared or a bit confused.
For some of us it's the voice of our mothers. For some, it's our fathers. Or elder brothers and sisters picking on us. Or the kid that used to bullied us when we where children. Or the teacher that just didn't like us. For some it's simply our own voice.
But we all have it. Sometimes we manage to get rid of it. We recognize her, lurking about when we are most troubled, whispering venom in our ears, and we tell her to go away: "Not today, thank you very much, I don't need you, go bother someone else".
Sometimes we manage to keep her shut for so long we might even illude ourselves that we got rid or her for good.
But she is never truly gone. She was just waiting for the right time to come out. Then, we make the mistake of doubting ourselves again and there she is.
You can hear her hissing in the back of your head: "Have you missed me?"

lyrics

Hey
Hey
Have you missed me?

Its me
Your little tiny friend
Telling you the truth

Its me
The little voice
Inside each and every one of you

You hate me
You fear me
You curse me
You banish me

But every time you all come back to me

Its you
You never know
What it is that you want

Its you
You egoistic brat
Who doesn’t know how to love

You know
They think they love you
But they just don’t know you enough

You know
You’ll hurt them all
And you will end up alone

You hate me
You fear me
You curse me
You banish me

But in the end all you’ve got is me

I am the little voice
In your head
Burning eyes naughty smile
Childhood trauma
Mama bear
Will you love me as I am

Cut out the drama love,
I’m all you have

credits

from Ardente Pazienza, released April 16, 2021
A song by Sigal Chameides (www.sigalchameides.com)
Musical Production & Mixing: Omer Shuster (www.omershuster.com)
Mastering: Yoram Vazan (www.vazanmastering.com)
Artwork: Meital Maor (www.meitalmaor.com)

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Sigal Chameides image

Sigal Chameides Italy

I'm an Italian-Israeli singer, songwriter, actress and vocal coach. Born and raised in Milan, Italy, in a family of classical musicians, I found my own path as a jazz and musical theatre artist and moved to Israel in 2011 to follow that path. Recently, I found myself experimenting new sounds and techniques, entering the ever-surprising world of electronic music. ... more

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